“Please don’t seek revenge” “We all make mistakes”, “But this is a man of God” Do these statements sound familiar? In many cases of abuse by a Church leader, such responses are common, but are they the right way to respond to abuse? Here is a scenario: After Church on Sunday, a Church member is seen…
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Who is protecting who? Some Church leaders should be fired! Yes, you read that right. Abuse of authority in the church has had a sharp increase, particularly in Africa with the rise of the mysterious men/women of god (the small ‘g’ is intentional). These men and women are sheltered and protected because any disgrace that…
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Why do Churches cover up abuse? One of the most common justifications given for covering up sexual abuse that takes place in the church is that it protects the reputation of the church. At face value this might sound like a convincing argument, after all Christians ought to want to make the teaching about God…
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Speak!! Stale ached surfaced scab Wounded by an experience not yet lived On the verge of being crippled by a life I’ve only but dreamed I’m constantly plagued by reflection Taunted by past decisions Lamenting my current predicament Hesitating to make a commitment Aboard the reflection bus I admit, these are stops in my life…
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In 2 Samuel 13 we meet Tamar – a daughter of King David, who is raped by her half-brother, Amnon. Of all of the stories in scripture that feature rape and sexual assault, this is the only one where we hear the victim speak, and what she says is devastating. As she tries to stop…
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Hearing of abuse causes different experiences, emotions, thoughts and desires in everyone. For some of us, our own experiences rise to the surface. For others, we feel the pain of the victims. We wonder ‘how can this be?’ We desire justice. But for some of us, it can also be a reminder of our contributions…
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I recently heard someone say that when it comes to the weak and vulnerable, the church should be a ‘safe haven.’ It would be hard to disagree with that. Yet tragically, it must be said, there are times when this doesn’t hold true. When the grim situation of abuse arises, how should church leaders respond?…
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A question: Someone points a gun at you and politely asks for your money and jewellery. You hand them over and they take them. They have not hurt you. Have you been robbed or did you give them a gift? Or perhaps they do not even have a gun. You are alone at night and…
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A few more tips to help you be a more supportive ally to survivors of abuse So you are trying to support a survivor of abuse who has opened up to you and you start to feel like things are getting even more difficult. What do you do next? Firstly, you need to note that…
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A few tips to help you be a more supportive ally to survivors of abuse It is never easy to talk about any form of abuse, and rape is particularly difficult to confide in anyone about – even friends and family. It cannot be overemphasised how important it is to create a safe space for…
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